2013届高考英语书面表达专题指导、练讲及习作评析第三部分考场习作评析三.docVIP

2013届高考英语书面表达专题指导、练讲及习作评析（第三部分考场习作评析）（三） 请根据下列两幅图写一篇短文对此漫画的感受和观点写作时要适当地发挥，语言连贯； 词数：150左右。 (7)From my point of view, what the mother did was wrong. (8)As we all know, parents are children’s first teachers. (9)Therefore, I think parents should not only care for their childrens health, but their minds. (10)In addition, they should let their children know its a pleasure to help others who are in trouble. 【习作评析】 在评析考生考场习作之前，先让我们来看一看该书面表达的最基本的要点是什么。 以上要点必须在书面表达中有所表述，缺一不可。 【习作的亮点】 全文共10句3.习作Education, which has always been a hot topic, plays a very important role in today’s world .But not every parent knows how to educate their children correctly.）的概括非常精炼，恰到好处。 4.But not every parent knows how to educate their children correctly.这一句的使用说明作者对全部否定和部分否定句掌握得很好； 5.习作在谈谈对漫画中母亲的做法看法hey should let their children know its a pleasure to help others who are in trouble. ”将主题进行了升华，给阅卷老师留下了深刻印象。 【习作的缺点】 2.某些句型的运用上有错误 如：(5)However, in the second picture, an oil bottle fell down and the mother criticized angrily the little boy didn’t straighten the bottle up. 动词 criticize”后面接 that 从句However, in the second picture, an oil bottle fell down and seeing the little boy didn’t straighten it up, the mother criticized him angrily” 3.某些句与句之间缺乏必要的连贯 【修改后的习作】 Education, which has always been a hot topic, plays a very important role in today’s world .But not every parent knows how to educate their children correctly. As is shown in the first picture, when a little girl fell down, a little boy wanted to help her. But his mother prevented him and said, “You can’t, otherwise someone else would say that it was you that knocked her off.” However, in the second picture, an oil bottle fell down but the little boy didn’t straighten it. So the mother criticized him angrily when he yelled, ‘If I had done that, you would say the bottle was brought down by me.’ Hearing his explanation, the mother was shocked. From my point of view, what the mother did was wrong. As we all know, parents are children’s firs