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He flatters to deceive 恭维是艺术还是欺骗？ BY ainuo1124 from 21st CenturyPublished 2012-08-06  导读：人们对恭维的态度褒贬不一，有人认为这是一门交际艺术，有人则认为它暴露了人虚伪的一面。殊不知，恭维也要讲求方法，如果盲目谄媚只会落得个马屁精(apple-polisher)的称号。 How do you persuade someone to do something they might not feel so keen about?你怎么说服别人做一些他们可能兴趣不大的事情？*Flattery–the art of offering pleasing compliments–will often help you get what you want.*恭维——一门赞美别人，讨人欢心的艺术，会让你心想事成。 Lucy Kellaway is a writer and columnist with the Financial Times. One day, she got an e-mail asking her to go to Scotland to give a speech for a charity.作家露西?凯拉韦是《金融时报》的专栏作家。一天，她收到一封电子邮件，邀请她前往苏格兰为一家慈善机构做演讲。 She wanted to decline the invitation because there were good reasons to do so: Scotland is far away from London; she had never heard of the charity and barely knew the woman who wrote the message. Yet rather than say no, the columnist found herself saying yes instead.她觉得自己有充分的理由来婉拒这个邀请：苏格兰离伦敦太远；她从来没有听说过这家慈善机构，也几乎不认识发邮件的那位女士。但她并没有拒绝，相反这位专栏作家竟然一口答应了。 Why?为什么？ Because she was flattered. The e-mail began: “We haven’t met yet, but I hope we will.” The woman went on to *profess a huge admiration for Kellaway’s columns and claimed the charity’s committee would be “utterly over the moon” if she turned up.因为她受宠若惊。这封邮件一开头就写道：“虽然我们未曾谋面，但我非常希望能有机会与您见面。”接下来，这位女士滔滔不绝地表达了对凯拉韦的专栏的赞赏，并表示如果她能够出席，那么慈善委员会绝对会“欣喜若狂”。 It would be hard for anyone to turn this woman down.任何人都很难拒绝这位女士的邀请。 Writing in the Financial Times, Kellaway says that even though she didn’t believe the woman was really her fan, she was softened up nevertheless.凯拉韦在《金融时报》上写道，即便她不相信这位女士是她的忠实读者，但她还是被说服了。 It is odd but true. According to a recent study from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, flattery works even when the *recipient knows it is *insincere.这听上去很奇怪，但事实如此，香港科技大学的一项最新研究显示，即便被奉承者清楚这是虚伪之举，但它依然很奏效。 The Harvard Business Review recounts an experiment researchers did to prove the effectiveness of flattery.《哈佛商业评论》杂志详述了研究人员是如何通过实验来证明恭维的有效性的。 A group of students were identified as poten