人际需求p.ppt

* Relationships The Need for Relationships Extremely happy people (Diener Seligman, 2002) Know thyself Lasagna principle revisited Extraversion and introversion (Little, 1993) Intimate relationships “There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate, lifelong companionship with one’s best friend.” David Myers State of Affairs Divorce rates Failure to sustain love Novelty produces heightened arousal (Mook, 1987) Who is the fairest of them all? Fiction Versus Reality Does true love (really) exist? Fiction Versus Reality Does true love (really) exist? “Perfect love is rare indeed—for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.” Leo Buscaglia Perfect love does not exist… True love does exist… Reframing Questions:The Case of Relationships Traditional psychology “Why do so many long-term relationships fail?” Positive psychology “What makes some relationships thrive and grow stronger over time?” Learning from What Works “At first, when I figured out how to predict divorce, I thought I had found the key to saving marriages... But like so many experts before me, I was wrong. I was not able to crack the code to saving marriages until I started to analyze what went right in happy marriages.” John Gottman “Cellulite and sexual potential are highly correlated.” David Schnarch Growing Tip Statistics Working hard Striving to be known rather than validated Allowing for conflict Appreciating the positive 1. Working Hard Cultivating versus Finding Movies end where love begins Living happily ever is the difficult part The “one right person” theory Cultivating the “one chosen” relationship Being Together By Doing Together Superordinate goal (Sherif, 1958) Mutually meaningful g