你想做却不敢说的7件事.docxVIP

你想做却不敢说的7件事 　　揭穿大家想做却不说的7件事，你有想过这些事情吗?我敢保证，其中的一半都在你的脑子里跑过。 　　1. “What if I just got naked and started screaming at people?” 　　1、“如果我全身脱光并对人们大声尖叫，结果会如何?” 　　Although the details always change slightly, there is undeniably this incredibly weird little voice which lives inside each of us, coming out always in the most professional/formal/inappropriate moments, and longs only to see everything be ruined. Who hasn’t been sitting in a business meeting or particularly boring lecture and become overwhelmed with the desire to do something absolutely insane, such as light your neighbor’s beard on fire, or flash your genitals and wave them around a bit, or scream “penis” at the top of your lungs? There is just something almost… itchy about being in reserved, organized, quiet social situations which brings out the disgusting animal in each of us who wants chaos and loud noises and life-ruining behavior. I suppose we now have to work on channeling our inner Steve-O into a little voice which wants us to clean our shower, or file our taxes, or call our grandmother. At least put all that impulsiveness into positive behavior。 　　尽管在细节上会有轻微的不同，但是无可否认的是这种难以置信的怪异小心声却存在于我们每个人心里，通常在最为专业、最为正式或最不恰当的时刻浮现，无 非是为了看到一切都被搞砸。谁没有在商务会谈或特别乏味的演讲时，被某种绝对疯狂的念头所征服，比如把邻居的胡子点着火，或者展示生殖器并四处甩动一会 儿，或者用尽全力喊“鸡巴”?总有一种可以称为……冲动的东西，让我们在保守的、组织化的、平静的社会状态下放出置身于我们每人心中的野兽，我们希望混 乱、噪声和生命毁灭的行为。我认为我们现在必须将内心的史蒂芬·格里斯特·格罗佛(一著名小丑演员，译注)调成另外的小心思，比如清洁浴池、清理税务、打 电话给祖母之类。至少，将所有那些冲动转向积极的行为。 　　2. “I want to punch that baby。” 　　2、“我想揍那个小婴儿。” 　　When it’s just screaming endlessly, and no one’s doing anything about it, and you’re just trying to enjoy your meal, and you know that your rage would be much better directed to the spineless parent who is allowing this to carry on, but you just can’t even think about them with the screaming in your ear — sometimes you just want to punch the baby. It is ruining your day, and being such an asshole, and even if you spend 99 percent of your time being a Mary Poppins figure who hands out dandelions to ro