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file:///H|/eMule/Incoming/Stephenson,%20Neal%20-%20Spew%20(ss)%20v1.0.1.txt
Spew
Are you on the trail of the next unexpoilted market niche - or just on a nookie
hunt?
New fiction by Neal Stephenson
Yeah, I know its boring of me to send you plain old Text like this, and I hope
you dont just blow this message off without reading it.
But what can I say, I was an English major. On video, I come off like a stunned
bystander. Im just a Text kind of guy. Im gambling that youll think its
quaint or something. So let me just tell you the whole sorry tale, starting from
the point where I think I went wrong.
Id be blowing brown smoke if I said I wasnt nervous when they shoved in the
needles, taped on the trodes, thrust my head into the Big Cold Magnet, and
opened a channel direct from the Spew to my immortal soul. Of course they didnt
call it the Spew, and neither did I - I wanted the job, after all. But how could
I not call it that, with its Feeds multifarious as the glistening strands
cascading sunnily from the supple scalps of the models in the dandruff shampoo
ads.
I mention that image because it was the first thing I saw when they turned the
Spew on, and I wasnt even ready. Not that anyone could ever get ready for the
dreaded Polysurf Exam. The proctors came for me when they were ready, must have
got my address off that job app yellowing in their infinite files, yanked me
straight out of a fuzzy gray hangover dream with a really wandering story arc,
the kind of dream concussion victims must have in the back of the ambulance. Id
been doing shots of vodka in the living room the night before, decided not to
take a chance on the stairs, turned slowly into a mummy while I lay comatose on
our living-room couch - the First Couch Ever Built, a Couch upholstered in
avocado Orlon that had absorbed so much tar, nicotine, and body cheese over the
centuries that now the centers of the cushions had developed the black sheen of
virgin Naugahyde. When they
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