10详略不当重点模糊（工程类）改后稿.docVIP

PERSONAL STATEMENT By Han Liang 本文原作者是个非常优秀的人才，可他不会包装自己。其自述最大的毛病是没有突出重点。在进行任何有意义的修改前，必须把内容完全重新组织，并在相应的段落开头加上有效的topic sentence。 Acclaimed as a prodigy, I entered into one of Chinas Ivy League universities at 14 and joined the countrys topmost scientific research institution as a graduate student at 19. Now an experienced engineer at 26, I would like to scale still higher intellectual heights by undertaking advanced studies that I hope would put me firmly on the cutting edge of scientific development.（读者可以体会一下这样的起始段落有什么好处。） I have demonstrated a keen mind since my early childhood. For years