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Adolescence
青春期
What do adolescents respect in parents?
Parents are often upset when their children praise the homes of their friends and regard it as a
slur on their own cooking, or cleaning, or furniture, and often are foolish enough to let the
adolescents see that they are annoyed. They may even accuse them of disloyalty, or make some
spiteful remark about the friends parents. Such loss of dignity and descent into childish behaviour
on the part to their parents about the place or people they visit. Before very long the parents will
be complaining that the child is so secretive and never tells them anything, but they seldom realize
that they have brought this on themselves.
Disillusionment with the parents, however good and adequate they may be both as parents
and as individuals, is to some degree inevitable. Most children have such a high ideal of their
parents, unless the parents themselves have been unsatisfactory, that it can hardly hope to stand up
to a realistic evaluation. Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they hope to
stand up to a realistic evaluation. Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they
realized how much belief their children usually have in their character and infallibility, and how
much this faith means to a child. If parents were prepared for this adolescent reaction, and realized
that it was a sign that the child was growing up and developing valuable powers of observation
and independent judgment, they would not be so hurt, and therefore would not drive the child into
opposition by resenting and resisting it.
The adolescent, with his passion for sincerity, always respects a parent who admits that he is
wrong, or ignorant, or even that he has been unfair or unjust. What the child cannot forgive is the
parents refusal to admit these charges if the child knows them to be true.
Victorian
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