04_Coupling_S01E04_Full.docVIP

Coupling – Transcript - S01E04: Inferno Scene 01 Machine whirring. Vacuum stops. Susan: - Got here early. Steve: - Right. Susan: - Thought Id tidy up a bit. Steve: - She was tidying up my flat. Jeff: - Serious. Very. Steve: - Yeah, a buttock-clenching moment. Patrick: - Excellent. Steve: - What? Patrick: - Well, was she bending over or something? Steve: - No. I clenched my own buttocks, Patrick. Patrick: - No offense, but thats a pretty basic mistake. Steve: - No, I mean I experienced fear. I. . . puckered. Patrick: - You. . . puckered? Steve: - Yes! I-i-in a moment of consuming terror, my. . . rear iris closed. Patrick: - What? Jeff: - Okay, imagine this, Patrick. Some woman that you know, right? Your mother, your sister, your girlfriend is, even now, without any advance warning, tidying up your flat! Patrick: - Yeah, probably. Steve: - No, no. Really tidying. Jeff: - Thoroughly. Under your bed. Back of that high shelf in your wardrobe. Steve: - Among your video collection. Patrick: - Oh, that iris. Jeff: - New haircut? Patrick: - Yeah. Got a lot of big meetings coming up, you know? Wanted the hard man look. Steve: - Isnt it a bit, um. . . Patrick: - What? Jeff: - Gay. Patrick: - This is not a gay cut. This is a hard man cut. Scene 02 Sally: - What came over you? Susan: - I dont know. I just suddenly had this impulse to tidy his flat. It was scary. Jane: - Maybe tidying is true love. Sally: - No. Oral sex. Susan: - Yeah, when youre still doing it without preconditions. Jane: - You do oral sex without preconditions? Susan: - Sure. absolutely. Jane: - How do you get anything done around the house? Susan: - You get a man in. Jane: - You know. . . I think Ive always misunderstood that phrase. Susan: - Listen, I hope you dont mind. . . Im taping something on your VCR. Steve: - Fine. No problem. Susan: - Dont worry, I found a blank tape. Steve: - Where? Susan: - What? Steve: - Where did you look for the tape? It was lying by the telly, on the floor. Steve: - Righ