My parents stayed together for forty years.docVIP

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.Ambrose Bierce As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.Albert Einstein Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - its something I only get to do when Billy Crystals out of town.Steve Martin (at the 2001 Oscars) I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying flee at once - all is discovered. They all left town immediately.Mark Twain Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard Shaw My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife youll be happy; if not, youll become a philosopher. Socrates. What if nothing exists and were all in somebodys dream? Or whats worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?Woody Allen My name is Saddam Hussein. I am the president of Iraq, and I want to negotiate.Saddam HusseinTo US troops who captured him in a hole in the ground near Tikrit. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.Elaine Boosler I didnt know he was dead; I thought he was British.Woody Allen I drink therefore I am.W.C. Fields Victor Hugo was a madman who thought he was Vistor Hugo.Jean Cocteau. It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.Rod Serling My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.Ed Furgol Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.Gioacchino Rossini. Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. Rex Reed talking about Marlon Brando They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Walter Hagen. I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, My dad can beat up your dad. Id say, Yeah? When? Bill Hicks. The meek shall inherit the Earth after were