英语课堂演讲稿.doc

英语课堂演讲稿 妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。 所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。 哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。 对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗？还着什么急呀？英语笑话：要求加薪 Asking for a RaiseAt the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn’t bother people in the outer office. After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal screams, hysterical laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager’s secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again? 我在一家之声工作。 经理把我叫进他的办公室， 让我预试一下我们准备购买的一套新的音响 效果设备。他关上门，以免打扰外面办公室的人。 听了几个常规的音响效果后，我们开始试听低声的呻吟，狂乱的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀 求声和枪声。最后我开门出去，从经理秘书旁边经过时，她抬起头问道：又要求加薪了？英语笑话：Fish net 鱼网”Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?” “A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.2 ?你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？?老师发问道。 ?把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。?小女孩回答道。不是那样的 It’s not thatA: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet. B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella. A: No, it wasn’t raining. A：我看见 个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。 B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！ A：不是，当时并没有下雨。谁是上帝？A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?”一个小孩问他的父亲：?爸爸，上帝是男人还是女人？? “Both son. God is both.”?他二者皆是，孩子，上帝二者皆是。? After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?”过了一会，孩子又问：?爸爸，上帝是黑人还是白人？? “Both son, both.”3 ?二者皆是，孩子，皆是。?The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?”孩子过了一会倒回来说：?爸爸，上帝是迈克杰克逊吗？?男生永远不会说的八句话things you’ll never hear a man say) Here honey, you use the remote.给，亲爱的，你来用遥控器吧。) You know, I’d like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.你知道，我也愿意再跟她约会，但她的胸部实在太大了！) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That’s one movie I gotta see!哦！安东尼〃巴德拉斯和布拉德〃皮特？我一定要看那部电影！) While I’m up, can I get you anything?我起身的时候，要帮你拿点儿什么吗？) Sex isn’t that important, sometimes I just want to be held.性不是那么重要，有时候我只想和你