English Jokes.pptVIP

English Jokes 英语笑话集锦 Go Ahead/Go a Head 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊! hongtao liu 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu， 外宾曰：我还方片七呢！ 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. There are two birds Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是燕子，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 could change you daily Wife talking to her husband，who reads newspaper all day: I wish I were a newspaper so Ill be in your hands all day. Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily 妻子和丈夫谈话，他一天到晚总是看报纸， 妻子抱怨说：我要是报纸就好了，那样我就可以天天在你手里了。 丈夫说我也希望那样，那样我就可以每天换一个了。 wait for your salary If you are alone, Ill be your shadow. I f you want to cry, Ill be your shoulder. If you want a hug, Ill be your pillow. If you need to be happy, Ill be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary. 如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。 如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。 如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。 如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。 如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧！ TOMS EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow. 汤姆的借口 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？ 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校----慢行。 Tom call Jims name:I cant bear such a foolish! and Jim say:You mother could (bear)! 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:我受不了你这个苯蛋了! 吉姆说:你妈妈能!  附:bear 有两重意思:生和忍受这个笑话正是根据这点. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: God, what is a mill