THE FAMILY SYSTEM of CHINA.doc

THE FAMILY SYSTEM OF CHINA There were formerly no such words as family system as a sociological term; we knew the family only as the basis of the state, or rather as the basis of human society. The system colors all our social life. It is personal, as our conception of government is personal. It teaches our children the first lessons in social obligations between man and man, the necessity of mutual adjustment, self-control, courtesy, a sense of duty, which is very well defined, a sense of obligation and gratitude toward parents, and respect for elders. It very nearly takes the place of religion by giving man a sense of social survival and family continuity, thus satisfying mans craving for immortality, and through the ancestral worship it makes the sense of immortality very vivid. It breeds a sense of family honor, for which it is so easy to find parallels in the West. It touches us even in very personal ways. It takes the right of contracting marriage from our hands and gives it to those of our parents; it makes us marry, not wives but “daughters-in-law”, and it makes our wives give birth, not to children but to grandchildren, It multiplies the obligations of the bride a hundredfold. It makes it rude for a young couple to close the door of their room in the family house in the daytime, and makes privacy an unknown word in China. Like the radio, it accustoms us to noisy weddings, noisy funerals, noisy suppers and noisy sleep. And like the radio, it benumbs our nerves and develops our good temper. The Western man is like a maiden who has only herself to look after, and who consequently manages to look neat and tidy, while the Chinese man is like the daughter-in-law of a big family who has a thousand and one household obligations to attend to. It therefore breeds in us soberness at an early age. It keeps our young in their places. It overprotects our children, and it is strange how few children rebel and run away where the parents are top self-centered and autoc