本人精选-学生英语笑话集锦1.docVIP

英语笑话集锦1 She Didnt Say Anything A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”. “How do you know?” asked her father. “She didnt say anything.” He Won ? Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. A Good Boy ? Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 4】 Mr. Smith: Waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup. Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---its the heat that kills it. 5】Son: Dad, give me a dime. Father: Son, dont you think youre getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess youre right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you? 6】“Im sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boys tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” 7】I Have Turned It Over A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! Its too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?” he man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I dont think its necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?” His wife was very angry at this. “How lazy you are!” She shouted, “To tell you the truth, I turned it over last week.” 8】Its Not That “May I borrow your record player tonight?” a man asked his neighbor. “Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?” “No,” he answered. “Tonight I want to have some peace