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Today there are two major parts in the speech 1 . Some English small jokes 2 . Some beautiful sentences of the movie I know who god is ? ?? ?? ? Secret For a Long Life A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch(门廊) . I couldnt help noticing how happy you look, she says. Whats your secret for a long, happy life? I smoke three packs a day, drink a case(箱) of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never do exercise. Wow, thats amazing, says the woman. How old are you? Twenty-two. -_-||| Two Attorneys 两个律师 Two attorneys went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, You cant eat your own sandwiches here! The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. →_→ Fat Man and Thin Man A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby(大厅). “From your looks,” said the fat man, “there might have been a famine(饥荒). Yes, was the reply, and from your looks, you might have caused it.“ ╮(╯▽╰)╭ You have to roll up the windows first A woman got a dent(凹痕) in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman decided to have a wee bit(一点,少许) of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take it home and blow in the tailpipe(排气管) until the dent popped itself out(膨胀). After 15 minutes of this, a lady ,one of the womans friends came over and asked what she was doing. Im trying to pop out this dent, but its not really working. “Duh(=Do 表犹豫) you have to roll up the windows first!“ ?_? Ive never given much thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.我过去从未过多考虑过我将来会如何死去,但死在我爱的人怀里倒是一个不错的选择。 But it’s you ,your scent, it’s like a drug to me. You’re like my personal brand of heroin.但是你,你的气味,对我来说就像毒品一样。你就像我私人的海洛因一样 I don‘t have the strength to stay away from you anymore. 我再也没有离开你的力气了。 I just couldn’t live in a world where you don’t exist.没有你的世界
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