4 Basic Types of Communication California （四个基本类型的通信）.pdf

4 Basic Types of Communication Life Would Be Easy… If It Weren’t for Communication Differences by Connie Podesta Sometimes it seems that folks just don’t get it. No matter what you say or how you say it, they simply don’t have a clue – and don’t seem too worried about getting one either! It’s not their nature to understand; that’s just how they “are.” Maybe so, but more often than not, the problem is a result of a communication breakdown. In this digitally inter-connected world, you’d think we could “fix” such basic differences. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as plugging another device into the system. Maybe they’re the problem. Maybe you are. We all know difficult people – and, in fact, we can all be the difficult person. A little background on communication styles can help us understand the issues and learn how to alter our approach to eventually make life a little easier for both parties. The Basics Every time we speak, we choose and use one of four basic communication styles: aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. Aggressive Communication Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. We may attempt to make people do what we want by inducing guilt (hurt) or by using intimidation and control tactics (anger). Covert or overt, we simply want our needs met – and right now! Although there are a few arenas where aggressive behavior is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in a relationship. Ironically, the more aggressive sports rely heavily on team members and rational coaching strategies. Passive Communication Passive communication is based on compliance and hopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode we don’t talk much, question even less, and actually do very little. We just don’t want to rock the boat. Passives have learned that it is safer not to react and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed. Passive-Aggressive Communication A combination of s