给同学的一封信A Letter to a Schoolmate.docVIP

给同学的一封信A Letter to a Schoolmate A Letter t a Shlate 14 pints I a delighted t learn that u are ging t visit e during the ee-lng hlida parents ill als be happ t see u again I a sure u ill en ever inute here I n u are fnd f siing A river lies nt far aa fr he e an g siing there I thin it uld be ver pleasant and refreshing t si in suh ht suer das In ever big r f he there is an air-nditiner e an ath TV, pla VDs r read bs ver frtabl at he A untain abut t iles aa fr here is beautiful and it is rth turing e an g there n ft hen e lib t the tp f the untain, e an have a nderful bird-ee vie f the hle village ust phne e befre u set ff There is n need fr u t tae anthing I?ll prepare everthing fr u I a ling frard t seeing u sn 评析 这篇作文内容切题，提纲要求的三方面内容都写到了，通篇文字简洁流畅，连贯性也较好，其文体亦是个人书信常用的口语体。该考生语法概念清楚，句子结构正确，词语搭配基本符合英美人的习惯。例如：第一段第一句I a delighted t learn…使用就很得体，别看learn这个词很简单，如果说成t n就没有这样得体。另外，像be happ t see u again，en ever inute here，are fnd f siing，it uld be ver pleasant and refreshing t si in suh ht suer das，is rth turing，g there n ft，ling frard t seeing u sn 等句子和表达都用得很娴熟得当，说明该考生的基本功是很扎实的。 需要改进的主要有以下几处： 1． 第3段第一句A untain abut t iles aa fr here is beautiful and it is rth turing语法没有错，但是，如果改成Abut t iles aa fr here there is a beautiful untain就合乎英美人的使用习惯。另外，英美人也不大会讲A untain is rth turing， 我们讲tur a it， 是到一个城市观光， tur Eurpe是到欧洲观光，其含义是要参观访问一个城市的好几个景点，访问欧洲好多个国家，好多个风景名胜，这里上下文看不出这样的含义，用tur就不合适了， turing应为libing。 2． 第3段第3句中的bird-ee vie应为birds-ee vie。 3． 第2段第4句和第句之间的连接差一点，加一个转折词语，如Besides, In additin或In the eantie等读起来要好一些。 现将原文稍作修改，供读者参考： I a delighted t learn that u are ging t visit e during the eelng hlida parents ill als be happ t see u again I a sure u ill en ever inute f ur sta here I n u are fnd f siing A river lies nt far aa fr he e an g siing there I thin it ill be ver pleasant and refreshing t si in suh ht suer das In the eantie, as there is an air-nditiner in ever big r f ur huse, e an ath TV, pla VDs r read bs ver frtabl hen e sta at he Abut t iles aa fr here there is a beauti