被ETS狠批的两篇作文-智课教育旗下智课教育.pdfVIP

智 课 网 托 福 备 考 资 料 被ETS狠批的两篇作文-智课教育旗下智课教育 托福写作一定要按照评分标准进行，要不然就会失分。这两篇作文 是被美国人狠狠批评的，后面是美国人修改的。看过这个以后，希望对 大家托福作文有帮助 智课教育小编整理了两篇中国人写的作文。可以看出亚洲人的思维 和欧美的确存在很大的差异，一个我们看似很正常的句子却被ETS考官 “痛下狠手”。这两篇作文是被美国人狠狠批评的，后面是美国人修改 的。看过这个以后，希望对大家托福作文有帮助和启发。 NO.1原文 Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival. A very traditional festival for people celebrating the harvest and enjoying family time. Almost half residents in our building back to their hometown in this short vacation. Because not so many apartment have lights on tonight. I called my mum this morning to wish her happy Mid-Autumn festival. Unfortunately, I got some bad news about my grandmother. My mum told me she is very sick since couple days before. They are all going to the countryside where my grandmother is living to visit her. I really hope she will get better. My grandmother is such a kind-hearted, warm, courteous, generous old lady.As 82 years old, she has been through a lot. But she is always optimistic, positive and open-mind.My mum always saying she admires my grandmother so much, she doesnt think she can be as good as my grandmother in terms of a lots things. For example, be positive and open-minded. Of course, there are some good things happened today. One of these is I got my Hongkong permit this afternoon when I already gave up and found another illegal way that my friend told me to get into Hongkong tomorrow. Mike seems happier than me, because he was worried about that illegal way will cause trouble for us.Yes, he is a such cute and timid guy. I still remember he was so scared if there were cops nearby during the time when he hasnt got his working visa yet. No.1被修改后 Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival; a traditional festival for Chinese people celebrating the harvest and enjoying family time. During this short festival, almost half of the residents in our building went back to their hometown. I am aware of this because there arent many apart