obamaout——奥巴马的离职演说.docx

Good evening, everybody. It is an honor to be here at my last — and perhaps the last — White House Correspondents’ Dinner. You all look great. The end of the Republic has never looked better. I do apologize — I know I was a little late tonight. I was running on C.P.T. — which stands for ―jokes that white people should not make.‖ It’s a tip for you, Jeff.1, C.P.T是指Colored Peoples Time，吐槽黑人被说迟到。2，反击纽约市长Bill de Blasio此前关于C.P.T的玩笑。Bill de Blasio之前在另一个场合迟到，于是开了一个玩笑I am running on CP Time.结果全场陷入尴尬。Anyway, here we are. My eighth and final appearance at this unique event. And I am excited. If this material works well, I’m going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Earn me some serious Tubmans. That’s right.1， 这里吐槽希拉里在高盛(Goldman Sachs)演讲赚了几十万美 元的事情。 2， Tubmans这里指钱，因为Tubmans是20美元纸币上的头像。My brilliant and beautiful wife, Michelle, is here tonight. She looks so happy to be here. That’s called practice — it’s like learning to do three-minute planks. She makes it look easy now. Next year at this time, someone else will bestanding here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who she will be. But standing here, I can’t help but be reflective, a little sentimental. Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics. In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific.1， 奥巴马用She就是暗指希拉里一定是下届总统。2，8年前，他想努力改善一下政治环境(the tone of our politics)， 后来的more specific吐槽这个环境其实越来越差了。Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor, and look at me now. I am gray and grizzled, just counting down the days ’til my death panel. Hillary once questioned whether I’d be ready for a 3 a.m. phone call — now I’m awake anyway because I’ve got to go to the bathroom. I’m up.全程都在自黑In fact, somebody recently said to me, Mr. President, you are so yesterday; Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you — he’s so handsome, he’s socharming, he’s the future. And I said, Justin, just give it a rest. I resented that. Meanwhile, Michelle has not aged a day. The only way you can date her