Stop Being a People-pleaser停止做一个他人优先者.docVIP

Stop Being a People-Pleaser If youve always felt a compulsion to meet everyone elses needs before your own, its hard to imagine being different. People-pleasing is not only what you do, but a strong part of who you believe you are. In some jobs, immediate responsiveness comes with the territory (just think of fire fighters). In others a quick reply is preferable, such as with customer service reps or publicists. But in many other work situations, this cycle of responsiveness leads to neglect of the most important activities. Either they dont happen at all, or you end up filling your nights and weekends doing your real work with the last fumes of energy you can summon. Im intimately aware of this struggle because as the owner of a time coaching and training company, Ive worked with clients on six different continents who come to me feeling like victims of their circumstances. This leads them to resist doing the activities that could let them have a more sane work life, such as blocking out time for key activities, because someone will just mess up my schedule anyway. If this sounds like you, before you can move forward in your time management habits, you need to realize you dont have to be so vulnerable to these attacks on your schedule. You can maintain appropriate boundaries. But first, a few caveats: Wanting to make people happy is not an intrinsically negative quality. You are not a bad or flawed or inadequate person if serving others and receiving affirmation just fills you with joy. (I know because Im one of those people!) Its just that if you feel compelled to always help people — even at the expense of other higher priorities — you need to condition yourself to be less sensitive to other peoples needs and more aware of your own so you can stay in balance. Speaking of balance, if youre never helpful, always insistent on having your way, never wanting to go the extra mile, this article doesnt apply to you either. Its good to work as a team, to help others, and