孩子面前怎 样吵架？.docVIP

Fight A Better Fight At Home 孩子面前怎样吵架？ It is a quandary every couple with children eventually faces: Should we fight in front of the kids? 对有孩子的夫妻终将面临这样的问题：我们该不该在孩子面前吵架？ The answer is complicated. Child psychologists who study the issue tend to say yes -- if parents can manage to argue in a healthy way. That means disagreeing respectfully and avoiding name-calling, insults, dredging up past infractions or storming off in anger, for starters. 答案不是那么简单。研究这个问题的儿童心理学家往往会回答“该”──如果父母能够做到合理争吵的话。合理争吵，首先是求同存异，并避免扣帽子、侮辱对方、提旧事或发飙。 Kids are going to have disagreements with their friends, their peers, co-workers, says Patrick Davies, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. If they dont witness disagreements and how they are handled in constructive ways, they are not well-equipped to go out into the world and address inevitable conflict. 罗切斯特大学(University of Rochester)心理学教授帕特里克·戴维斯(Patrick Davies)说：“孩子们将会跟他们的朋友、同伴、同事产生分歧，如果他们没有见过分歧以及分歧的建设性处理方式，那么他们就不能做好足够的准备去闯荡世界，去处理不可避免的冲突。” Dr. Davies and fellow researchers found that constructive marital conflict was associated with an increase in childrens emotional security, in their study of 235 families with children ages 5 to 7 published in 2009 in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. Other studies have linked constructive marital conflict with the healthy development of childrens problem-solving and coping skills and even happiness. 戴维斯博士和其他一些研究人员研究了235户有五到七岁孩子的家庭，研究结果于2009年发表在《儿童心理学和精神病学杂志》(Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry)上。他们发现，“建设性”的婚内冲突与儿童情绪安全感的增加存在关联。其他一些研究也曾发现，建设性婚内冲突与儿童问题解决与应对能力、甚至幸福感的健康发展之间存在关联。 A growing awareness of how and where to fight with a spouse when kids are involved is being spurred in part by a proliferation of research linking childrens exposure to a lot of unhealthy marital conflict -- characterized by hostility, threats and insults -- with a greater risk of anxiety disorders, depression and behavior problems. Also, a generation of young parents who grew up as kids of divorce