Guidedwriting-----图表式作文.pptVIP

Guided writing -----图表式作文2 图表式作文，从文体来讲是由_________文和_________文所合并而成的。 记叙文部分即是对_________的描述，_________部分即是根据图表发表自己的看法。 1. the main reasons of the increase in the number of senior citizen the improvement of living standards (b) more access to medical services 2. the potential consequence---- social problem of aging population heavy burden of taking care of the aged put on the young generation (b) an increasing lack of young laborers 3. possible solutions to change the one child policy to welcome young immigrant 请修改下列句子 1. With the development of society, there are more people that have old ages. 2．Compared with these data, we can know that with the development of the world, now people can live more comfortable and longer. 3. The reason why people’s age last longer is because the living standard of people have raised much higher than before. 4. On the other hand, the city life is relaxed and free, which make the olds have good attitude towards the life. Of course, it isn’t easy to carry on without the support of the government. 问题所在： 严重语法上错误和中式英语的痕迹。 1. With the development of society, there are more people that have old ages. 修改：With the development of society, people are likely to live longer. 2．Compared with these data, we can know that with the development of the world, now people can live more comfortable and longer. 修改：We can naturally draw a conclusion based on these data that with the development of the society, people are enjoying more comfortable life and thus tend to live longer. 3. The reason why people’s age last longer is because the living standard of people have raised much higher than before. 修改：The main reason why people tend to live longer is the great improvement of living standard. 问题所在： 句与句之间缺乏逻辑性，论述太不具体。 4. On the other hand, the city life is relaxed and free, which make the olds have good attitude towards the life（能够从前句直接推得下句吗）. Of course, it （指代什么）isn’t easy to carry on without the support of the government. 修改：On