英文幽默笑话.docVIP

1.猫和老鼠 ——Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. 　　—— Whats in your box? asked the friend. ——A cat, answered Mrs Brown. You see Ive been dreaming about mice at night and Im so scared! This cat is to catch them. ——　But the mice are only imaginary, said the friend. ——So is the cat, whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didnt have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, Mayday, mayday. A Coast Guard officer came on and said, State your location. I-75, two miles south of Standish. After a very long pause, the officer asked, How fast were you going when you reached shore?  　在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快？” 3.The Mean Mans Party　　吝啬鬼的聚会　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.　　Why use my elbow and foot?　　Well, gosh, was the reply, Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢？”　　“天哪！” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧？” 4.Talking clock 会说话的钟 ——While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. What is the big brass gong and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. Hows it work? ——Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear sh