英语小笑话短篇故事阅读.docxVIP

英语小笑话短篇故事阅读 A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. Don’t bother Doctor, said the man. I ve been through a lot worse. 一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院，医生马上让护士去拿止痛药，“不必麻烦您了，医生。”那人说道，“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。” More painful than this? the doctor asked. “比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。 I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls. “我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便，于是就脱掉裤子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夹子绊倒了，那东西夹住了我的皋丸。” The doctor winced, That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse? 医生听后颤抖了一下，说道“太可怕了，那告诉我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?” When I reached the end of the chain. “当我摸到锁链尽端的时候。” The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said Good Morning.” 一天工程系的主任走进一个班，说道:“早上好。” The whole class chorused Good Morning” 全班齐声回复:“早上好。” Hi，you are freshmen aren’t you? he asked. “你们是大一的吧?”主任问道。 One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew. 一个胆子比较大的同学问主任是怎么知道的。 Well，”he said. When I say‘Good Morning to a class，if they are freshmen they say Good Morning too. If they are sophomores，they quietly fold their papers away，and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning to a class of graduate students, they write it down.” “嗯，”主任说，“如果是大一的新生，当我向他们问早上好的时候，他们也一定会说‘早上好’的。如果他们是大二的学生，他们会轻轻地合上课本，然后集体望着我。大三的学生则会从书本上抬起头看我一眼，然后马上又继续读书了。大四的学生则会对我视而不见，继续看书。至于研究生班的学生，我向他们问早上好，他们就会把这句话写在笔记上。” A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway，I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, a big guy came in and said to me，Hey pal, I’m