初一英语幽默故事短文欣赏.docxVIP

初一英语幽默故事短文欣赏 In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong. 军队里的一个连的士兵决定捉弄捉弄他们连的炊事员，一个又矮又胖又弱小的年轻人。就这样，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一个士兵会往他的靴子里大便。令人吃惊的是这个炊事员平静地接受了这种待遇。每天早上他都会弄干净他的靴子然后若无其事地去工作。 After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasnt very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.” 就这样过了几个星期，士兵们开始厌烦了这种游戏。因为那个炊事员从来没有任何反应，使得这种捉弄根本没那么有意思，也让他们觉得有些内疚。所以，他们派了一个代表去向那个炊事员道歉并保证以后不再那么做了。当那个炊事员听他们说出了真相后说:“你们真的不往我的靴子里大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你们的咖啡里小便了。” The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned，her little boy greeted her by saying, Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and them…” 一个女人离开家两天，到另一个城市去看望一个生病的朋友。当她回来的时候，她的小儿子见到她就说:“妈妈，你猜怎么着?昨天我在你卧室的衣柜里玩，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨走进了卧室，他们脱了衣服上了你的床……” Sonny’s mother held up her hand. Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me. The father came home. As he walked into the house，his wife said，I m leaving you. I m packing now and I m leaving you.” 妈妈抓住他的手说:“不要讲了，等到你爸爸回家了，你就把和我讲的全部讲给他听。”孩子的爸爸回来了。当他走近房间的时候他的妻子说:“我要离开你。我现在就收拾好行李，我要走了。” But why--asked the startled father. “但是，这是为什么?”他吃惊地问。 Go ahead，Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me.” “讲给他听，儿子，把你告诉我的讲给他听听。”