英语故事搞笑幽默.docxVIP

英语故事搞笑幽默 A drunk 醉汉 A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes. 有一位警官把一个在车道上穿进穿出，迂回蛇行的男子拦到路边。 He goes up to the guys window and says Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube. 他走到这名男子的车窗旁边说：“先生，我要你对着这个酒精测试管吹一口气。” The man says,Sorry officer I cant do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that Ill have a really badasthma attack. 这名男子说：“对不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是个气喘病患者呀。如果我吹的话，我就会真的患很严重的气喘病。” Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample. “ 好， 好。我要你到警察局进行血液检验。” I cant do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,Ill bleed to death. “我也能抽血检验呀。我是个血友病患呀。如果我抽血检验，我就会流血过多而死呀。” Well ,then we need a urine sample. “嗯，那我们就要你进行尿液检验吧。” I am sorry officer I cant do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that Ill get really low bloodsugar. “对不起呀 ，警官，我也不能验尿呀。我也是一个糖尿病患者呀。如果我验尿的话，我的血糖就真的会变得很低。” Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line. “好吧，那我要你出来到这边，走这条白线。” I cant do that,officer. “警官，我办不到呀。” Why not? “为什么办不到?” Because I am too drunk to do that. “因为我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。” Idiot Teacher 白痴老师 If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up? said the sarcastic teacher . 喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。 After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet, 沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。 Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? enquired the teacher with a sneer. 老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂， 先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?” Well ,actually I dont,said the student ,but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself. 这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。” Silly Doctor 蠢医生 A man went to see his doctor 有一名男子去看他的医生， because he was suffering from a miserable cold. 因为他正遭到令人难受的感冒之苦。 His doctor prescribed some pills, 他的医生开了一些药丸 ， but they didnt help. 但是这些药丸都没什么帮助。 On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, 他笫二次去的时候，医生给他打针， but that