病床旁机械声与无声担忧.pdfVIP

Day27

WinterforTwo-7

Iwasunconsciousonandofffordays,andinthosemomentswhenIwasawake,

Ifoundmyselfhookedtomachines,tubesupmynoseanddownmythroatand

twobagsoffluidhangingnearthebed.Icouldhearthefainthumofmachines,

droningonandoff,sometimesmakingsoundsIcouldnotrecognize.One

machine,beepingwithmyheartrate,wasstrangelysoothing,andIfoundmyself

lulledtonever‐landtimeandtimeagain.

Thedoctorswereworried.Icouldseetheconcernintheirfacesthrough

squintedeyesastheyscannedthechartsandadjustedthemachines.They

whisperedtheirthoughts,thinkingIcouldnthear.Strokescouldbeserious,

theydsay,especiallyforsomeonehisage,andtheconsequencescouldbe

severe.Grimfaceswouldpreludetheirpredictions‐‐lossofspeech,lossof

movement,paralysis.Anotherchartnotation,anotherbeepofastrange

machine,andtheydleave,neverknowingIheardeveryword.

ItriednottothinkofthesethingsafterwardbutinsteadconcentratedonAllie,

bringingapictureofhertomymindwheneverIcould.Ididmybesttobringher

lifeintomine,tomakeusoneagain.Itriedtofeelhertouch,hearhervoice,see

herface,andwhenIdidtearswouldfillmyeyesbecauseIdidntknowifIwould

beabletoholdheragain,towhispertoher,tospendthedaywithhertalking

andreadingandwalking.

ThiswasnothowIdimagined,orhoped,itwouldend.IdalwaysassumedI

wouldgolast.Thiswasnthowitwassupposedtobe.Idriftedinandoutof

第27天

两人的冬天‑7

一连好几天我都断断续续地失去知觉，在我清醒的那一刻，我发现自己被机器迷

住了，管子我的鼻子和喉咙，两袋液体挂在床边。我能听到机器微弱的嗡嗡

声，时断时续，有时发出我无法辨认。一台机器随着我的心率发出蜂鸣声，

有一种奇怪的舒缓感，我发现自己一次又一次地无法着陆。

医生们很担心。当他们扫描图表并调整机器时，我可以通过眯起的眼睛看到他

们脸上的担忧。他