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Unit 3 My Un-wedding Day The local bishop in the western Canadian city of Nelson, was going to perform the ceremony. July 18, 1987, would be the day, just before my 37th birthday, when I would get married for the first time. Her name was Helen. She was a hairstylist, and we had met in Cuba in March 1986. Three months later, we were engaged. Then, in her Vancouver flat 11 months later, she said she couldnt marry me. The drive back to my home was an endless journey of destructive emotions and thoughts. The hurt had already set in, but the humiliation was still ahead. Yes, time will heal the pain. I told friends. I vowed it would be a long time before I let myself be hurt like that again. But I came to understand that the prospect of leaving her family, friends and job must have scared her deeply. Better before the marriage than after. As the date of our wedding approached, I decided that I still wanted it to be a special day. Rather than spending it dwelling on what might have been, I wanted to celebrate my friendships with all the people who would have been at the party. I had wedding-style invitations printed: Mr. Raymond Turchansky will not be getting married on Saturday, July 18, 1987. So he requests the honor of your presence at the party on that day. Lunch and Champagne at 4 pm. The party was a blast. I wore a tuxedo, had my photo taken with my brother, Larry, who would have been my best man. I played Pachelbels Canon, a piece I wanted to be my wedding music, a piece she had dismissed as nice music to dust by. Some 40 people came -- friends, family, colleagues and neighbors. They brought a cake -- with just a groom on it -- reading, Oh, its great to be single. Rather than roses, they offered stinkweed. We ate. We drank. And best of all, we laughed. A month later, I was covering the Canadian Amateur Gold Championship. Filling in for another reporter who couldnt make it at the last minute was a woman named Lorraine. She already had a cassette
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