English is a Crazy Language英语：疯狂的语言.doc

English is a Crazy Language by Richard Lederer ???? English is the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet, used in some way by at least one out of every seven human beings around the globe.? Half of the world's books are written in English, and the majority of international telephone calls are made in English.? Sixty percent of the world's radio programs are beamed in English, and more than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in English.? Eighty percent of all computer texts, including all web sites, are stored in English. ???? English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the world's languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race.? Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that English is a crazy language -- the most loopy and wiggy of all tongues. In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway??? In what other language do people play at a recital and recite at a play??? Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall??? Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Why does a man get a hernia and a woman a hysterectomy? Why do we pack suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase???? Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess? Why do we call it newsprint when it contains no printing but when we put print on it, we call it a newspaper? Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?? Why -- in our crazy language -- can your nose run and your feet smell? ???? Language is like the air we breathe.? It's invisible, inescapable, indispensable, and we take it for granted.? But, when we take the time to step back and listen to the sounds that escape from the holes in people's faces and to explore the pa