HowIMetYourMother台词.doc

S1 E01 Pilot Kids, Im gonna tell you an incredible story ; the story of how I met your mother. Are we being punished for something ? No. Yeah, is this gonna take a while ? Yes. 25 years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life. It was way back in . I was , just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college. My life was good. And then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up. Will you marry me ? Yes. Perfect ! And then youre engaged. You pop the champagne. You drink a toast. You have sex on the kitchen floor. Dont have sex on our kitchen floor. Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted. Dude, are you kidding ? Its you and Lilly. Ive been there for all the big moments of you and Lilly : night you met, your first date, other first things. Yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep. Its physics, Marshall. If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too. My God. Youre getting engaged tonight. Yeah. What are you doin tonight ? What was I doing ? Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life. And me ? Im calling up your Uncle Barney. Hey, so you know how Ive always had a thing for half-Asian girls ? Well, now Ive got a new favorite... Lebanese girls. Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians. Hey, you want to do somethin tonight ? Okay, meet me at the bar in minutes. And suit up ! Wheres your suit ? Just once, when I say suit up, I wish youd put on a suit. I did that one time. It was a blazer ! You know, ever since college its been, Marshall and Lilly and me. Now, its gonna be Marshall and Lilly... and me. Theyll get married, start a family. Before long, Im that weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call Uncle Ted. I see what this is about. Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met ? Ted, Im gonna teach you how to live. Barney. We met at the urinal. Oh, right. Right. Lesson one : lose the goatee. It doesnt go with your suit. - Im not wearing a suit. - Lesson two : ge