雅思大作文点评国际旅游利大于弊.docVIP

雅思大作文点评:国际旅游利大于弊？ 　　TASK2 　　Some people think the advantages of international tourism outweigh its disadvantages. To what extent do you agree Recently, it is reported that tourism covers a growing proportion of gross global production, from which we can conclude that there is an increasing tendency for people to experience the joys of travel. In the circumstances, some people suppose that the benefits from international tourism are more important than its negative effects. But, I hold the opposite opinion with three reasons given in the following text（这句改成as follows是不是好一点）. （66words） 　　结构分析：这段的写法比较典型，还是受到了培训的影响，最后1句不是直接提出自己的观点，而是引出下文。我想指出的是，这种写法当然是可以的，但是如果把此段下文的3个分论点总结一下，在第1段直接表达出来，效果会不会更好呢？！大家可以尝试一下。此外，第1段稍微有点长，实战中写那么多会不会影响速度呢？！ 　　语言方面：不错！！！从正确性来说已经很不错了，而且句子还使用了一些从句。我的第1印象是7分起评！ 　　Admittedly, international tourism can bring money and job opportunities to many countries, especially some developing countries, such as Thailand, Philippines, where tourism plays a vital role in domestic economy. However, tourism, with irretrievable damages to the ecosystem, gives rise to serious contamination. In most travel resorts 好像holiday resort比较常见吧，或者你是想说tourist attraction, scenic spots等等？？？ , some tourists always abandon rubbish（这个动宾搭配的怎么感觉那么怪！！！） anywhere instead of into the ash-bins. Furthermore, some carve their names on the trees or stones, only for marking（这个很明显是Chinese English了，应该是to mark不定式作目的状语吧） the spots where they used been（？？？这个错误有点低级吧！！！）. Unfortunately, it is not only purely ecosystems which are destroyed（又是chinese english!!!你是不是想说Not only has the ecosystem been damaged, but some ancient monuments are under attack）, but also some ancient monuments. With the awareness of environmental pollution, now, the concept of “sustainable tourism” has been focused on, which gave 为什么要用过去时？！ birth to “eco-tourism”. Whereas,（它是连词，不可以这样用的，用法相当于while，自己查，这个我就不浪费笔墨了！！！） so-called “eco-tourism”, I am afraid, can not help at all. People are so attracted by this new tourism style. Iro