asimpletruthabouthappiness.docVIP

After I gave a talk on the subject of happiness，a woman in the audience stood up and said， “I wish my husband had come.” “Much as I loved him,” she explained, “it wasnt easy being married to someone so unhappy.” This woman enabled me to put into words what I had been searching for—altruistic，as well as the personal，reasons for taking happiness seriously．I told her that each of us owes it to our spouse，our children，our friends to be as happy as we can． I was not a particularly happy child，and like most teenagers，I took pleasure in my anguish. One day，however，it occurred to me that I was taking the easy way out．Anyone could be unhappy; it took no courage and effort. True achievement lay in struggling to be happy. The notion that we have to work at happiness comes as news to many people．We assume its a feeling that comes as a result of good things that just happen to us，things over which we have little or no control．But the opposite is true：happiness is largely under our control．It is a battle to be fought and not a feeling to be awaited．To achieve a happy life, its necessary to overcome some stumbling blocks，three of which are： Comparison with Others: Most of us compare ourselves with anyone we think is happier—a relative，an acquaintance or，often someone we barely know．I once met a young man who struck me as particularly successful and happy．He spoke of his love for his beautiful wife and their three daughters，and of his joy at being a radio talk－show host in a city he loved．I remember thinking that he was one of those lucky few for whom everything goes effortlessly right. Then we started talking about the Internet. He blessed its existence，he told me ，because he could look up information on multiple sclerosis 多发性硬化 —the terrible disease afflicting his wife．I felt like a fool for assuming nothing unhappy existed in his life． Images of Perfection: Almost all of us have images of how life should be. The problem, of course，is that only rarely do people’s jobs, spouses a