为学地道英语.docVIP

为学地道英语，三观全颠倒！节操碎一地！ 有一天女孩问男孩：ABCDEFG是什么意思？男孩回答：A boy can do everything for girl。 女孩很感动。有人告诉她别忘了后面还有HIJK ——He is just kidding！女孩回答：就算他骗我也没关系，后面还有LMNOPQ。。。Love Must Need Our Patience. 1.进了牢里，和新狱友见了面，我打招呼问：“你啥事儿进来的？” 　 “看个基佬不顺眼一刀捅丫心窝儿里。你是啥事儿？” 　 “呃，那个，偷东西啦。”我边说边悄悄地把套套放回了口袋里。I was sitting in prison with my new cell mate.What you in for? I asked.I stabbed a guy in the heart for being gay, what about you?Emm, burglary. I replied, putting the condom back in my pocket. cell 单人牢房,小囚房What you in for你为什么近来？burglary 入室盗窃（罪） 不知道大家看懂没有，，，，这个I 就是个gay 2,今早我去敲了邻居家的门：“你老婆叫床声音这么响让我一夜都没睡啊。” 　 “哈哈哈，别开玩笑，”他大笑，“我老婆昨晚根本就不在家呢。” “我知道，她在我家过的夜。” 　 I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and said, Your wife kept me awake all night with some seriously noisy sex.Thats ridiculous, he laughed. My wife wasnt even here last night.I said, I know, she stayed at mine.neighbour邻居kept me awake all night 一夜没睡noisy sex 叫床。。 3.正在写自杀遗书时，女儿走了进来，她好奇地问：“爹地，你在做什么呀？” 　 “嗯，只是给你妈写张纸条而已。” 　 “呀，写得怎么样了？”她微笑着问。 　 “很不顺利呢，”我说，“你妈妈的笔迹真是贼难模仿呀！” I was writing a suicide note when my daughter walked in.What are you doing, daddy? she asked.Just writing a note for your mum.Hows it going? she smiled.Terrible, I replied, her handwriting is a bastard to copy! a suicide note自杀遗书。Just writing a note for SB ，给某人写字条handwriting笔迹bastard to copy很难仿制 4.I called over the air stewardess and said, Sorry to trouble you, but Im trying to relax and this young kid behind me keeps screaming and hitting me on the back.Im not surprised, she replied, Thats his seat and youre squashing him. 我叫过一位空姐：“万分抱歉，我想安安静静地放松一下，可我背后这个小孩子却一直又吵又闹的还拼命捶我的背……！” 　“这倒也不奇怪，”她回答，“您这是坐在他的座位上，都快把他挤扁了。”the air stewardess空姐Sorry to trouble you不好意思麻烦你一下 5.My family are really poor.On my 12th birthday they put half a cake with six candles up against a mirror. 咱家穷。咱过十二岁生日时，都是拿半块蛋糕插了六根蜡烛放在镜子前过的 My family are really poor我家非常穷against a mirror放在镜子前 6.昨晚我叫了个锁匠上门。 　 “太谢谢了，”我忙不迭地和他打招呼，“我把开店的钥匙给掉了。” 　 “哦，哪家是你的？”他问。