I remmber the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.docVIP

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.Martin Fraquhar Tupper In my house Im the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.Woody Allen When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.Woody Allen Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - its like an excuse for Halloween everyday. Gwen Stefani. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.Groucho Marx Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. Steve Almond. Im like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.Dennis Miller Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. Oprah Winfrey. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.Groucho Marx I have made this [letter] longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.Blaise Pascal Nothings as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. Kin Hubbard. There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.Woody Allen Never fight an inanimate object.P. J. ORourke Power means not having to respond. I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.Howard Nemerov An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from but not enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce Thank God Im an atheist.Luis Bunuel Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.TS Eliot. Love may be blind, but it can sure find its way around in the dark!Author Unknown Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.Albert Einstein If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Steven Wright. Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the spirits of things. Dee Snider. Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but theres nothing exactly like it.W. C. Fields Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close