Crucial Conversation - School-Improvement-Wiki.PPTVIP

Crucial Conversations Adapted from  Crucial Conversations Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron Mcmillan, and Al Switzler McGraw-Hill Companies, New York, 2002. ISBN 0-07-140194-6 CEU code 05109wb .1 CEU Your Moderator Today is Karen Tobias VP of Professional Development NMA Headquarters 2210 Arbor Blvd. Dayton, OH 45439 937-294-0421 E-mail: karen@ Objectives for Crucial Conversations Discover how to communicate best when it matters the most Manage your communication “style” under stress Make it safe to talk about anything Fill the Pool of Shared Meaning Turn conversations into actions and results you want Tools for talkingWhen the stakes are high… At work Boss – Performance reviews Co-workers - Conflicts on how to… Customers – Angry At home Family – Children, Parents, S______ Friends – ____________ Neighbors – ____________ Behavior Choices We Can Fight “Violence” Attack Label Control We Can Flee “Silence” Withdrawn Avoid Mask “Conversation Killers” Chapter 4, Learn to Look, pp. 52-54. Behavior Choices Fight Camp Flight Camp The Dialogue Model Silence Violence Controlling Labeling Attacking Safety Withdrawing Avoiding Masking Dialogue “Conversation Killers” What is happening to you… Feel fear Question their motives Feel you aren’t respected Feel threaten What should be happening to you… Feel safe Trust their motives Respect the person Understand their meaning Start with your own heart The only person you can change is yourself…start there. Focus on What You Really Want Pay attention to your motives. Ask yourself: “What does my behavior tell me about what my motives are?” Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship?” And finally ask: “How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?” Chapter 4 , Learn to Look, p. 63. Learn to Look Learn to  Look at content and conditions Look for when things become crucial Learn to watch for safety problems L