中考英语 作文训练与说明 优秀作文评析四 提示作文.docVIP

提示作文 【习作要求】　　马虎搞到两张全兴队对国安队的足球比赛入场券。他电话通知好友赵华洋，约他放学后在新华公园门口碰头，一起吃晚饭，然后去看球赛。二人在饭店美美吃了一顿，到付账时马虎才发现自己把钱夹忘在了家里，入场券也在他的钱夹中。 　　【学生习作】 　　Ma Hu got two tickets of (1) a wonderful football match between Quanxing and Guoan. He was thinking of invite (2) his good friend Zhao Huayang to watch it together. He gave him a call and told him to meet at the gate of Xinhua Park after class and then had dinner (3) together. 　　They met each other on time and had good dinner (4) in a restaurant. When the waiter brought them the bill. Ma Hu found that he left (5) his wallet at home. The two tickets kept (6) in the wallet, too. （1）of在这里不是表示所有关系，所以应把of改成for，表示“用途”。 （2）动词invite在介词of的后面，应把它变为–ing形式。 （3）连词and连接的应该是两个并列的动词不定式，所以应把had改为to have。 （4）这里注意dinner前面有形容词修饰时，那么应在形容词前面加a。 （5）应把left改成had left。因为到“发现”时为止前面的动作已经完成，要用过去完成时态。 （6）此处是被动语态，应加上were。 　　【名师点评】 　　这是一篇根据汉语提示写作的作文，也是中考题中常常采用的一种写作方式。写作中要求要点齐全，时态准确，短语、句型运用较为恰当即可得高分。本文要点齐全，较好地体现了写作要求。只是文中细小错误较多，这会影响获取高分。【习作要求】　　以“My Mother”为题，写一篇120字左右的短文。需包括以下要点： 　　(1) 妈妈的身材不高，稍胖，圆脸，长发。 　　(2) 妈妈是家庭主妇，每天起床很早，为全家人做饭。 　　(3) 早饭前做些家务，饭后送孩子上学。虽然她没有很多钱，却常给我们买好衣服和学习用品。 　　(4) 妈妈晚上睡得晚，她总有很多活要做。 　　(5) 妈妈勤劳，我爱妈妈。 　　【学生习作】 My Mother 　　 My mother is not tall and short (1). She is a little fat. She has a round face and long hairs (2).　　My mother is a housewife. She is very busy every day. She get to(3) up very early every morning. She gets up at about five thirty. After that she begins to cook for the family. 　　Before breakfast, she does some housework. After breakfast, she sends our children (4) to school. She always tells us study hard (5). She has not many (6) money, but she often buys us some nice clothes and school things. 　　My mother goes to bed very late every night. She always has a lot of work to be done. (7) 　　My mother is hard-working. I love her very much. （1）如果说“她中等身材”，应该说： She is of medium height.（2）hair是不可数名词，不能用复数形式。 （3）改为gets。主语是第三人称单数时，动词也应变为相应的三单形式。 （4）此处“我们孩子”是同位词组，“我们”与“孩子”之间是同位关系，应将其改成：us children。（5）