人大附中高3月考作文讲评.ppt

10月6日月考 作文讲评;情景作文（2010届东城一模）;;审题;图片要点;特别提醒 1、12分以下： ①少感受，结构不完整 ②叙事段时态错误（一般现在时） ③少必要细节。 如图1：孤寡老人、打扫卫生应具体到一项 图4：横幅“国庆快乐”等 2、分黑色签字笔扣5分 3、没有自然分段扣2分 4、字数不够或超出指定范围视情况而定扣分; Sample： Community Service During the winter vacation, the students in our class joined in a meaningful activity in which all of us did our bit for the community. First we went to visit an old lady who lived all alone. While we were in her home, one of us chatted with her and the rest helped do a thorough cleaning. We swept the floor and dusted the table. When the work was done, the house looked really neat and tidy then we went to the sports center, where different sports facilities needed polishing. We set out to work at once. In no time everything was dust-free. To make the environment clean, we also picked up the litter on the grass and along the paths. To celebrate the National Day, we put up decorations on the billboard and a poster with the characters Happy National Day on it. Having done all these, we saw a more pleasant community. Tired as we were, we felt happy as all of our work paid off.;写作技巧（结构） ;写作技巧（图片） ;写作技巧（图片） ;写作技巧（图片） ; ---难忘的经历；责任感增强，服务意识/社区意识增强；能力得到锻炼等） 个人收获： ---After a whole day of work, my body was washed out, but my heart was filled with satisfaction. It gave me a big relief that I could do something for our city. ---This unforgettable volunteer work not only brings me great pride and happiness but also inspires me that helping others is kind of things full of enjoyment.; 活动启发： ---Our service is not only for our community, but also a small gift to our country. ---All for one；one for all. Should we devote ourselves to volunteer work to make the world a better place for others as well as for us ourselves? ---We were all in high spirits that day; we gained not only enjoyment but also a message from the community service that the harmony of our community needs everyone’s effort.; lone