短好英语小幽默.docVIP

短的好的英语小幽默 这几天我们的英语老师要我们上课前做自是介绍,还要我们讲和什么英语故事,我搜索了个,找了一点,1为自己方便,2二为大家分享 呵呵...就说这么多.. Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,School-Go slow.老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着学校----慢行.Let me take it downAn elephant said to a mouse ,no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down .the mouse said .I will tell a flea what I know.为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。 But the teacher criedThe six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?Cry? John asked. No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!可是老师哭了六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”CoincidenceA woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer.What a terrible voice! he said. Do you know who she is?Yes, was the answer. She is my wife.Oh, I beg your pardon. The man said, Of course her voice is not bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song.I did. was the answer.巧合一位女士正在唱歌。一位客人转??对他旁边的男士批评道：“多难听的嗓音！”他说，“你知道她是谁吗？”“知道，”男士回答，“她是我太太。”“噢，请你原谅。”客人说，“当然，她的嗓音并不坏，但那歌实在太差了。我想知道那是谁写的歌。”“是我。”男士回答道。ImprovementOne student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldnt understand the English men, and now its the English men who cant understand me.进步一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”A New Drug 一种新药Jack:I have invented a new drug w