老友记 第一季106 剧本 台词.doc

老友记 第一季106 剧本 台词 106 The One With the Butt [Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joeys to start.] Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, theres Joeys picture! This is so exciting! Chandler: You can always spot someone whos never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom... Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Yknow, its not just Freud, its Freud! (The lights dim.) Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen. (The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.) Joey: Vell, Eva, veve done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.) All you want is a dingle, What you envys a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang... Opening Credits [Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding.? As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.] Rachel: God. I feel violated. Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do? Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten oclock. Ross: Is it? Feels like two. Chandler: No, ten oclock. Ross: What? Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) Theres a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten oclock! Ross: Oh. Hel-lo! Chandler: Shes amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men! Monica: Well, go over to her! Shes not with anyone. Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh. Rachel: Oh, cmon. Shes a person, you can do it! Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here. Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years. Chandler: Thank you, buddy. Phoebe: Oh, oh, but yknow, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those g