英语 小笑话 幽默.docVIP

THE BOSS One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, How much is the yellow one? The assistant says, $2000. The man is shocked and asks the assistant why its so expensive. The assistant explains, This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast. What about the green one? the man asks. The assistant says, He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes. What about the red one? the man asks. The assistant says, That ones $10,000. The man says, What does HE do? The assistant says, I dont know, but the other two call him boss. BEAUTIFUL? There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “Youre beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “Youre cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!” CONSTRUCTION CODE A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he cant hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, I, then at his knee, meaning, need, then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, handsaw. The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate. The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, What the hell is wrong with you!?! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw! The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming. CONSTRUCTION EAR A constructi