中国博士黄西再登脱口秀笑翻老外.docVIP

中国博士黄西再登脱口秀笑翻老外 著名华裔笑星黄西（Joe Wong）当年以一口中国腔英语，在美国脱口秀节目一炮而红。最近，他再次登上美国深夜节目收视率冠军“大卫莱特曼秀”（The Late Show with David Letterman）表演单口相声，观众反应十分热烈。 视频双语文本： Hi, everybody. Hi! So I dont have too much time up here, before my green card expires. See I grew up in a poor neighborhood in China. The middle school that I went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement. And the students were required to bring bricks to school and ...We worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road. Years later, I heard about the term: child labor. I was like, what?! Those kids got paid?! 嗨，大家好啊！嗨！那个……我能表演的时间不多，因为我绿卡马上要过期了。我是在中国的穷乡僻壤长大的。我们初中某年突然决定要修整土路，铺上砖头和水泥，让学生们带砖头到学校来……我们玩命地干了三个礼拜终于把路修好了。多年以后我听说了这个词：童工。我立马就惊讶了，啥？！那些小孩干活还有钱拿？ I got a D minus. But I read that younger kids nowadays cant even read the analog watches any more. They can only read the digital ones. I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? Its gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 oclock. I cant stay that long. 我拿到的只是D-。我看报道，如今的小孩都不会看手表了。他们只能看懂电子表。我心想，等他们长大以后该如何报告辣妹的位置啊？别人说，“辣妹在三点钟方向”。我不能待那么久的。 So I came to the US for college and I was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department. Like once I asked this girl out and she said, no. I said, are you sure? And she said to me, hey Joe, NO means NO. I said, well... it also means Nitric Oxide. 我来美国是读大学，我很喜欢科学，这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我约女孩子出去，她说不行。我问，真不行啊？她说，嘿，Joe，NO就是不行的意思。我说，NO也是一氧化氮啊。 And one year, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Heres something you guys should know about me. I dont approve of nudity in public. But when it happens, I want to be there. 有一年，我去新奥尔良参加狂欢节。 对于我，你们要了解一点，我是不赞同公共场合赤身裸体的。不过要是真有人这么干了，那我不能错过啊。 And when I first came to the United States, I took a English as a second language class. And the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students names. So he just handed out a list of American names for us to choose from. And by the time I got the list, there were only two names left, so I