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Stephen King L.T.S THEORY OF PETS
My friend L.T. hardly ever talks about how his wife disappeared, or how shes probably dead, just another victim of the Axe Man, but he likes to tell the story of how she walked out on him. He does it with just the right roll of the eyes, as if to say, She fooled me, boys-right, good, and proper! Hell sometimes tell the story to a bunch of men sitting on one of the loading docks behind the plant and eating their lunches, him eating his lunch, too, the one he fixed for himself - no Lulubelle back at home to do it for him these days. They usually laugh when he tells the story, which always ends with L.T.s Theory of Pets. Hell, I usually laugh. Its a funny story, even if you do know how it turned out. Not that any of us do, not completely.
I punched out at four, just like usual, L.T. will say, then went down to Debs Den for a couple of beers, just like most days. Had a game of pinball, then went home. That was where things stopped being just like usual. When a person gets up in the morning, he doesnt have the slightest idea how much may have changed in his life by the time he lays his head down again that night. Ye know not the day or the hour, the Bible says. I believe that particular verse is about dying, but it fits everything else, boys. Everything else in this world. You just never know when youre going to bust a fiddle-string.
When I turn into the driveway I see the garage doors open and the little Subaru she brought to the marriage is gone, but that doesnt strike me as immediately peculiar. She was always driving off someplace - to a yard sale or someplace - and leaving the goddam garage door open. Id tell her, Lulu, if you keep doing that long enough, someonell eventually take advantage of it. Come in and take a rake or a bag of peat moss or maybe even the power mower. Hell, even a Seventh Day Adventist fresh out of college and doing his merit badge rounds will steal if you put enough temptation in his way, and thats the worst k
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