（外文电子版资料）Terry Bisson - Smoother.pdf

TERRY BISSON SMOOTHER AMAZING, ISNT IT? I guess. It would be even more amazing, as Oscar Wilde once said, if the water didnt fall. Oscar Wild? The weiner guy? A famous funny sayings guy. From long ago. I think he played the piano, too. Anyway, it could happen. Or not happen. What not happen? The water not fall. I get it. Youre talking about Smoother. I thought we werent going to talk about Smoother. Sorry. Its just that, there it is. Smoothing along. One hundred twenty miles a day, day after day. So what? So what does that have to do with us, you and me, here and now? Nothing. And everything. Smoothers not even heading this way. Not now. I get it. Youre talking about the whole world again. Well, for your information, at the rate its going, Smoother will take thousands of years to smooth out the entire world. More like hundreds. Do the math. Okay, Ill do the math. Its a mile wide, it moves at about five miles per hour... Eight point four kilometers per hour, to be exact. And Smoother is 2.173 kilometers wide. Whatever. Metric Smoother, then. Either way, were talking about a long time. The world is huge. Smoother just smoothes a little strip. That little strip, as you call it, gets longer and longer. Every year Smoother smoothes an area the size of England. Smoother has already smoothed a strip long enough to stretch around the world five times at the equator. Most of it worthless land. Most of it ocean floor. In a few hundred years the whole world will be as smooth and featureless as a pool ball. A giant beige cue ball. Lighten up! You and me wont even be around in a few hundred years. Our children will We dont have any children. And we never will if we spend our entire Honeymoon worrying about Smoother. It would be more amazing if it didnt smooth, according to your wildman guy. And it could be worse. Smoother takes its time. Its moving at a walk. A fast walk. Still. People have plenty of time to get out of the way. Nobodys be