英语小笑话 集锦.pdfVIP

英语幽默小笑话 1、Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.”What did you do with the money （that/which/不填）I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You are a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再 给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 2、Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you saw him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 1 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” 3、Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow （燕子）, the other is sparrow （麻雀）. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 4 、Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,School-Go slow. 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着学校慢行. 2 5、Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad? Well, my son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk. But, dad, the boy said, theres only ONE policeman! 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄， 老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，” 父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算 醉了。” “可是，