英语幽默短故事.docxVIP

英语幽默短故事 ：狗住旅店 A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night? 有个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?” An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, Ive been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, Ive never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. Ive never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And Ive never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, youre welcome to stay here, too. 旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单， 餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。 ：《律师、宝马和胳膊》 A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. Officer, look what theyve done to my Beeeemer!!!, he whined. 一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。 “警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。 You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!! retorted the officer, Youre so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didnt even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!! “你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。” 律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?” ：The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. “乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问 I didnt like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..... “妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。” ：The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, A