简单的两个人英语笑话故事.docxVIP

简单的两个人英语笑话故事 A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk. 一个中产阶级男子决心远离红尘，去当修道士。每个出家的人都必须要立个沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允许说两个字，作为对这一段时间所经历事情的总结。 After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was HARD BEDS.” 第一个五年过去了，当修道士让他用两个字总结这五年的经历时，那人说道“破床”。 When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: BAD FOOD.” 又过了五年，当修道士再次问道他的时候，他回答“猪食”。 After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，I QUIT!” 第三个五年过后他对修道士说“放弃”。 The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesnt surprise me. Youve been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!” 道十点了点头喃喃地说道:“果不出我所料，这十五年来除了抱怨以外你什么也没有做。” Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head. 你有没有听说过有一个人，当他回到家后发现自己的妻子正和另一个男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手枪喊到:“我受够了!看来今天是要做一个了结了!”说完他将枪口对准自己的头。 The unfaithful wife shouts, Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, Shut up, bitch，because youre next!” 这时那个荡妇喊到:“不，不要这样，你可不能自杀呀!”那人听了愤怒地吼道:“闭嘴，泼妇，下一个死的就是你!” A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. Don’t bother Doctor, said the man. I ve been through a lot worse. 一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院，医生马上让护士去拿止痛药，“不必麻烦您了，医生。”那人说道，“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。” More painful than this? the doctor asked. “比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。 I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls. “我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便，