英语舞台剧剧本五到十分钟.docxVIP

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） ——金科 Wanders every five miles 焦仲卿 Johnny(J for short) 刘兰芝 Lunch(L for short) 焦母 Johnny’s mother(JM for short) 刘母 Lunch’s mother(LM for short) 太守之子 Mayor’s son(MS for short) 强盗 Burglars(AB and C) Prologue (J 作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J 被打中,狼狈不堪) J: Everybody says that I’m hen pecked, but in fact, I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is WuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then, I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! As you see , people live around here all said that I am not a man. Yes, I am not a man, I am a handsome man.(手撩头发做臭美状) (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中 J) My God! Who can help me?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM 作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here! What’s up mum? JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“ my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’sup? （口气很不情愿） JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque, so lazy…… L: But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L: Never interrupt me!（手势） Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny（语气重点头）, I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing. I have raised（掰手指头数） ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son. I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在 JM 的脸上,下) Act2 (LM 坐在台上打毛线,L 拿着锅铲上) L: Mum, I’m back! LM:（惊讶睁大眼） You are back? Why? What happened? L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.（怨愤抱拳在胸前） LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神 情):See! （手指向兰芝）I have already told you!（咳嗽两声） When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,（咳） I told you that h