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Unit 71 Escape Valve A man and woman I know moved in together recently. It was, as such occasions are, a moment of sentiment and celebration. It was also a limited engagement. Before moving in, they had already set a fixed date when they would break up. They explained their reasons to one and all. In a year, the woman planned to change jobs and cities; the man didnt plan to follow. An eventual split is unfortunate, they said, but also inevitable, so why not plan on it? Yet far from being a sad twist of fate, my woman friends scheduled departure was a liberating force, making possible whatever short-term romance the couple will enjoy. Without the escape clause of a pre-set termination of their affair, they might never have lived together. This situation is not unique. More and more people are ordering their lives along a principle I call the automatic-out. In love, friendship, work, and the community, people increasingly prefer arrangements that automatically end at some pre-set date. It is a force in society as a whole, as more of us hunger for lives that appear stable and deep-rooted but lack the complications of commitment. Automatic-out may have its foundations in the preset cycles of academic life. In recent decades, an ever-higher percentage of the population has been able to attend college and post-graduate schools. Thats a good thing for the cause of education but perhaps not so good for societys spirit. Longtime students learn to view institutions as places where people briefly come to rest, and from which they will be automatically removed on a date known years in advance. They also tend to see institutions as a means by which to take things for themselves, instead of adding things for others. So it may be no surprise that professionals -- usually the beneficiaries of advanced schooling -- seem increasingly uninterested in staying put. A Brookings Institution study shows that Government-agency managers turn over, on average, every 21 months. Now
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