2010年东城二模开放作文讲评.pptVIP

2010年东城区二模开放作文讲评 2010.12.29 切 题 老人孤独，提醒人们在照顾孩子的同时也应该关爱老人。 孩子，中年人，老人都有各得其乐的方式，应该珍惜每一个阶段。 画面温馨，体现了和谐社会。 跑 题 画面描绘了母爱，老人深受感动，养狗也体现了一种母爱。 低碳生活：因为小孩骑车（没开车），而且画面里有风车。 少壮不努力，老大图悲伤：年少时学的少（趁年少要多学，老了之后就不能学了），年老时就悲伤。 母亲教孩子学车，所以母亲溺爱。 有人想要孩子，有人想养宠物，但最终宠物代替不了孩子, 所以还是应该抚养孩子。 去户外锻炼身体，多接触大自然。 评分标准 切题，语言基础好，思维清晰，表述准确，描图，立意，议论层次分明，一气呵成。（13—15） 切题，语言基础较好，思维表述比较流畅，但有些不影响文章大局的小错。（10—12） 切题，语言基础一般，表述基本正确，有一些错误，但不影响阅读和理解全文（即：不用猜测其表述的含义） （9） In the picture there is an old man sitting alone on the bench in a park. He is looking at a young mother holding the bike for little daughter while she is riding it. By the side of the old man lies a sleeping little pet dog. This is a picture of great contrast. By the look on the man’s face, we can tell the old man feels a bit lonely. However, the little girl, enjoying her mother’s company, is playing happily. Nowadays, all families have only one child. So parents do whatever they can to take good care of their children. There’s nothing wrong with that. But meanwhile, as far as I’m concerned, not only the young but also the old in society deserve good care and enough attention. The needs of the old shouldn’t be ignored. In conclusion, we shouldn’t lose the good tradition of caring for the old. As is seen in the picture, a young mother is riding a bike together with her daughter in a park, smiling happily, while on one side of the road sits a lonely old man with only a dog by him, looking upset. The picture shows in great contract that in our society some old people are left alone by their own children like the old man in the picture, who leads a lonely life day after day without being looked after. What the picture intends to do is to make us reflect ourselves. We have to be aware that how we treat our parents or grand parents can have a big influence on their state of life. However busy we are, it is not acceptable to overlook their feelings and needs for children. Had we spared more time accompanying them, they would h