老外最精彩的一句话网络笑话，基本上都无法翻译.docVIP

老外最精彩的一句话网络笑话，基本上都无法翻译 1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnt work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.?2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.?4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But its still on the list.?5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong...?6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.?7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.?8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you dont have a good partner, youd better have a good hand.?9、Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you cant help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.?10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.?11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.?12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.?13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.?14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.?15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.?16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.?17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.?18、If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of payments.?19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.?20、Evening news is where they begin with Good evening, and then proceed to tell you why it isnt.?21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire??22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it??23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fru