《2016奥斯卡开场白》.doc

Thank you. Thank you all very much. I’m so excited to be here. Good evening everybody, ladies, gentlemen, Felicity. I’m Jon Stewart and welcome to the 78th Annual Academy Awards. It’s an exciting night. It’s an exciting night. Tonight is the night we celebrate excellence in film with me the 4th male lead from Death to Smoochy, rent it. And right now around the world we are being watched by hundreds of millions of people, nearly half of whom are in the process of being adopted by Angenina Jolie. I’m wait listed. It’s good stuff. It is incred…I have to say, it’s a little shocking to see all these big names here, these huge stars. The Oscars is really, I guess, the one night of the year when you could see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party, and it’s exciting for the stars as well. This is the, er, the first time many of you have ever voted for a winner. Oh, it’s good. You enjoy, enjoy your votes. The theme of the award show tonight is a return to glamour, and thank goodness because for too long Hollywood has done without. Definitely this is an improvement over last year’s theme night of a thousand sweat pants. Let’s face facts. It hasn’t been the best year for Hollywood. The box office was, ermmmm, a little bit, down, and piracy continues to be a problem. So let me just say that if there is anyone out there involved in / illegal movie piracy. Don’t do it. Take a good look at these people, these are the people you are stealing from, Look at them!! Face what you’ve done. There are women here who can barely afford enough gown to cover their breasts. There are a lot really big stars here tonight. It’s really exciting. We’ve got the man Mr. George Clooney, triple nominee. No, Stop it! Stop it! It’s you. It’s a terrific night. Two of the nominations for Good Night and Good Luck, which is not just Edward R. Murrow’s sign-off. It’s also how Mr. Clooney ends all his dates. Now, I kid because I envy. The cast of Capote, is also wit